Read a recent ruling by Supreme Court on matrimonial disputes where they conclude, cruelty in matrimonial relationships could mean absence of mutual respect and understanding that embitters relationships, leading to outbursts in behavior. In fact, it infinitely ranges from silence and subtle gestures to outright violence that, the entire facts and circumstances of the case before hand needs to be considered in favour of predetermination by rigid formula.
The ruling got me interested as I know too many families, both related and otherwise, where the male shouts his spouse into submission. There are even the ones who brag about females deserving to be ‘treated properly'. In fact, Domestic abuse or IPV (Intimate Partner Violence)has always been in vogue.
Theories on this ‘lawlessness’ smack of psychological, historical, social reasons among others. But what's interesting is, irrespective of time and geography, every human society have gravitated towards a patriarchal system reinforcing the myth(?)of male supremacy.
So is the male superior to the female?
Objectivity reveals otherwise. Surely, there has been no evidence of a deficiency w.r.t. IQ. Again, without doubt, female compensates her physical weakness with mental toughness. when it comes to EQ, I would argue male lacks the subtleness anyway. Even biologically, Nature has blessed female with such mental faculties to withstand procreation that, even mythological references seem to portray female as a perfection upon male (Eve being created after Adam and so forth... courtesy: Bible). Even genetically, male seems to have lost out on the chromosomes. In short, facts do not match the drama played out in the world…
Is there a subtler reason? Like an unconscious psychological fear of the female?
Let’s be fair to the past, male domination legacy perhaps dates back to the origin of homo sapian when tribes survived on physical strength alone. Those days, physical power was key, hence males prevailed. This trigger to submissiveness of female seem to have largely contributed to the poor self esteem, causing them to further confine and conform. But as human beings progressed to a civilized and more liberal setting the physical prowness of male no longer mattered. For, in today’s world of stress and mental powerplay, female holds the upper hand. To be honest, coupled with enough self esteem and a gifted power for endurance, a female could equally (if not exceed) qualify any task that demands toughness of the highest nature, even military. Even in science and art, I believe it was largely the restrictions imposed that stunted their confidence to contribute in equal measure. I believe it was all along (historically) skewed.
So do you do when threatened?
The escapism before a defensive strategy (resulting from a underlying poor self esteem) is often violence. One resorts to unfair and unreasonable means to hide one's weakness. So the question is....has there always been an unconscious acceptance and fear of female supremacy, triggering an unreasonable approach towards matrimonial relationships in males. Because a marriage is between equals, agreeing to share life and its challenges.
I know, to even suggest to the male community of a deep-rooted fear of the fairer sex would look preprosterous. But that's because the social setting has always been so skewed in male's favour, rigth from the origin of species. However, one needs to acknowledge that, an average male, was never really sadistic nor haboured a deep-rooted intention fueling the domestic abuse he unconsciously or consciously created But rather, an innocuous approach to mentally trick the partner into submission for 'operational' ease. Because any relation between equals will ensue arguements and hurdles as in democratic societies. We get nowhere, right?
So, how does the male achieve this?
By simply being 'unreasonable'. The modus operandi has been to ‘blame’ one’s spouse for everything that falls apart within the family. Be it looking after the children or cooking. The opportunities to place blame are endless. As no woman will sue you for being a little angry, you continue to break glasses, mouth abuses, scorn in-laws while she puts up with it in silence. It is easier when you are the bread winner. Once or twice she might try to talk back or repulse but eventually her EQ advises to survive the repression. Females are repressed into believing this is the norm. Even religions and traditions betrayed them. Be it Islam, Christianity or Hinduism, it's the same tragedy. I sometimes scorn at the 'Great Indian Family' values. In my humble opinion, our values weathered because, our women suffered in silence. Period.
Of course, I did not intend belittle the bread winner for protecting his family and taking on hard jobs like building a house,for instance. What I ask is a little consideration that can take your family life to another level of experience.
Ah! It is all so skewed. I do not propose anything. I cannot propose anything.
I just realize, I have wonderful parents. And that I have enough self esteem to see reason.
The ruling got me interested as I know too many families, both related and otherwise, where the male shouts his spouse into submission. There are even the ones who brag about females deserving to be ‘treated properly'. In fact, Domestic abuse or IPV (Intimate Partner Violence)has always been in vogue.
Theories on this ‘lawlessness’ smack of psychological, historical, social reasons among others. But what's interesting is, irrespective of time and geography, every human society have gravitated towards a patriarchal system reinforcing the myth(?)of male supremacy.
So is the male superior to the female?
Objectivity reveals otherwise. Surely, there has been no evidence of a deficiency w.r.t. IQ. Again, without doubt, female compensates her physical weakness with mental toughness. when it comes to EQ, I would argue male lacks the subtleness anyway. Even biologically, Nature has blessed female with such mental faculties to withstand procreation that, even mythological references seem to portray female as a perfection upon male (Eve being created after Adam and so forth... courtesy: Bible). Even genetically, male seems to have lost out on the chromosomes. In short, facts do not match the drama played out in the world…
Is there a subtler reason? Like an unconscious psychological fear of the female?
Let’s be fair to the past, male domination legacy perhaps dates back to the origin of homo sapian when tribes survived on physical strength alone. Those days, physical power was key, hence males prevailed. This trigger to submissiveness of female seem to have largely contributed to the poor self esteem, causing them to further confine and conform. But as human beings progressed to a civilized and more liberal setting the physical prowness of male no longer mattered. For, in today’s world of stress and mental powerplay, female holds the upper hand. To be honest, coupled with enough self esteem and a gifted power for endurance, a female could equally (if not exceed) qualify any task that demands toughness of the highest nature, even military. Even in science and art, I believe it was largely the restrictions imposed that stunted their confidence to contribute in equal measure. I believe it was all along (historically) skewed.
So do you do when threatened?
The escapism before a defensive strategy (resulting from a underlying poor self esteem) is often violence. One resorts to unfair and unreasonable means to hide one's weakness. So the question is....has there always been an unconscious acceptance and fear of female supremacy, triggering an unreasonable approach towards matrimonial relationships in males. Because a marriage is between equals, agreeing to share life and its challenges.
I know, to even suggest to the male community of a deep-rooted fear of the fairer sex would look preprosterous. But that's because the social setting has always been so skewed in male's favour, rigth from the origin of species. However, one needs to acknowledge that, an average male, was never really sadistic nor haboured a deep-rooted intention fueling the domestic abuse he unconsciously or consciously created But rather, an innocuous approach to mentally trick the partner into submission for 'operational' ease. Because any relation between equals will ensue arguements and hurdles as in democratic societies. We get nowhere, right?
So, how does the male achieve this?
By simply being 'unreasonable'. The modus operandi has been to ‘blame’ one’s spouse for everything that falls apart within the family. Be it looking after the children or cooking. The opportunities to place blame are endless. As no woman will sue you for being a little angry, you continue to break glasses, mouth abuses, scorn in-laws while she puts up with it in silence. It is easier when you are the bread winner. Once or twice she might try to talk back or repulse but eventually her EQ advises to survive the repression. Females are repressed into believing this is the norm. Even religions and traditions betrayed them. Be it Islam, Christianity or Hinduism, it's the same tragedy. I sometimes scorn at the 'Great Indian Family' values. In my humble opinion, our values weathered because, our women suffered in silence. Period.
Of course, I did not intend belittle the bread winner for protecting his family and taking on hard jobs like building a house,for instance. What I ask is a little consideration that can take your family life to another level of experience.
Ah! It is all so skewed. I do not propose anything. I cannot propose anything.
I just realize, I have wonderful parents. And that I have enough self esteem to see reason.
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